My Best Friend and Worst Enemy

“You may find the worst enemy or best friend in yourself.” – English Proverb

Do you like who you are? The way you look. The sound of your voice. The way you act in social situations or the way you handle stress. When you look at all the things that make you, you, are you happy? Is there a long list of things you want to change or is that list short and sweet?

I’d love to write a post about how I went from hating myself to loving myself. Offer you five easy steps to find your inner warrior. Self-acceptance in ten days or your money back! *Conditions apply* If only there was a coupon! If it worked like that then I’d be the beacon of positive mental health.

As it is, I’m just a relatable mess…Question mark?

We all have things we don’t like about ourselves. We stare at our reflections and those little imperfections might as well be lit up like a UFO in the night sky. The butt’s too small. Hips too big. Slightly crooked eyes. Is that a pimple? Arg, just what I need right now!

What about the imperfections that don’t reflect in the mirror? The ones our eyes can’t see but our hearts feel. It’s who we are at the core of our being and who we think we should be if only we weren’t ourselves. Like a video loop playing in our minds, we judge every mistake as if it was a critical error in our programming. The stupid stuff we did or said. Those times we weren’t at our best and times when our best wasn’t good enough.

“Why do you have to be so weird?”

“Remember that one time?”

“Yeah, awkward much? And you wonder why you’re alone.”

It’s hard to like myself when half the time I can’t stand being near myself. I’m my worst enemy. My arch-nemesis. Comic book villains have nothing on me! All you haters and trolls? There’s nothing you can say that’s worse than what I say to myself. No, that wasn’t a challenge. Please be kind. We all need a little more kindness.

We all need to treat ourselves with a little more kindness. Did I get that off of a greeting card? Maybe. Still, it’s good advice, and I need to take it to heart. I’m my worst enemy, but I want to be my best friend. I want to like myself, learn to love myself, and appreciate all my unique qualities.

Sure, I’m awkward and a bit odd but I’m also hyper-empathic. I feel what you feel on such a deep level. That brings with it, an overwhelming sense of compassion and curiosity. I’m genuinely interested in your life, who you are, and I unreservedly want the best for you. That’s a pretty good quality to have. Don’t we all need a little more compassion and understanding? I know I do! Which is why I give it so freely.

I’m quiet and shy, but that makes me a good listener. We all need to be heard don’t we? Especially when life kicks us in our no-no spot. Having someone who can hear our words and see the best in us is an amazing gift to receive. It’s an amazing gift to give. The fact that I can do that for someone is kinda cool. 

Does anyone else get a queazy feeling when they start talking nicely about themselves? Yeah, my stomach is bubbling because changing the narrative from a negative to a positive is a little unsettling. I feel like I’m gloating. Ego-maniac much? Check myself before I wreck myself? I should shut up and disappear into the shadows. 

No, wait a second! I’m just being a little kinder to myself. These qualities that I view as negatives come with some positives. All I see are the bad things they bring, but there’s some good too. There’s always some good in the bad. Maybe I need to look at myself through a pair of rose coloured glasses. Would that help?

I know those glasses aren’t popular, and they fog up real easy. They’re a close cousin to clown shoes but at least that clown is happy. For a short time, that clown dances and sings. It pulls flowers out of its pocket and laughs like it’s the greatest trick ever performed. As long as those shoes, and glasses, are on there’s happiness.

So let’s put on the rose coloured glass, stand in front of that mirror, and take a kinder look at ourselves. Look through those glasses with compassion, empathy, and gratitude. It’s not about perfection or blind optimism. It’s simply taking a minute to thank our hearts for beating.

We can take another minute to look at our perceived weaknesses and find their strengths. They’re there! I know they are. When I look at you, I see an amazing person with so many amazing gifts. If I can see that in you, why can’t I let myself see it in my reflection? If you can see it me, how about seeing it in yourself?

It’s okay to show ourselves the same kindness we’d show our friends, families, loved ones, and strangers. It’s okay to list our good qualities. It’s not bragging! It’s showing gratitude and compassion. It’s turning our backs on our own worst enemy and embracing the best friend we’ll ever have.

What are your best qualities? Leave them in the comments below. Maybe you’ll inspire someone to find theirs.

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See you all on Friday!